Hope

That saying has been constantly on my mind for the past few days. I am officially a college student now(just warning you all now, my grammar will not improve in these blogs because I honestly don't care). I moved in to my residence hall two days ago, and I am finally starting to get the lay of the law. Last night I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and really made an effort to get to know people and try new things. I am positive that I am not the only one who is nervous and insecure here and I realized that I should just be myself and meet as many people as possible so that they would feel included and loved. I tried to share Jesus's love to all last night. I ventured to the Ridge and joined in on different hall meetings, I ate dinner with a new group, I painted bricks with my hall, my RA and I ran to the Rec. center to workout and play games, I watched the Hawks win against the Packers with a new group, and  finally my roommate and I went to Fred Meyer at midnight to do some food shopping. I was defiantly exhausted by the end of it but I was also very proud of myself! I know that it is up to me to create how successful I am in this experience and that I have to make an effort. I know that it will not always be easy though! Yesterday morning was very difficult... I woke up at 7 am and layer in bed until 8:30 am. Now, you have to learn one thing about me. I cannot spend too much time on my own with nothing todo because my mind wanders to these pessimistic outcomes. So while I was laying in bed I was thinking about how alone I was, how I would have to spend 4 years here, and how much I will miss life at home. The life at home piece was the one that I tended to fixate on. I was extremely comfortable with where I was in my life at home. I had a fantastic family/home life. My parents were there to support me and my brothers were only a half an hour drive away. I loved where I worked and the Youth Group its self. I think that the youth group idea was the hardest one. I know that my mom is only  a phone call away so that is a bit more reassuring, but there is something about the group moving on without me that is difficult to understand. That group has been such a huge part of my life for so long. It gave me a purpose and it was my passion and I knew I was loved there. It is hard for me to look at pictures of the group because it makes me realize how much I love and miss them all but... I have to remember that that is the Lord's group and that it is not about me there. I will always be able to return there and hangout with them, but I also have to realize that it is time for me to fly and grow as my own person. I have to learn what my passions are and what I want to do and more importantly I need to figure out what the Lord's plan is for me. I am hoping that college will help me learn more about myself and that it will also help me gain a more positive attitude towards life. 

My RA had this verse posted on her wall and I LOVED it! 

Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off everything that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let is run with endurance the race God had set before us. We so this by keeping out eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of this joy awaiting him, he endures the cross, disregarding shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne." 

I have to strip the negative thoughts and anything that is holding me back from personal growth and my love for Jesus Christ. 

-All-i