Responsibilities

In 1 hour and 45 minutes I will officially be 19 years old. I don't know how I feel about it. Last year when I turned 18, an official adult, I didn't feel any different. But, this year, 19, I feel like an adult. I am now aware of the many responsibilities I will have next year, and each year older I get the more responsibilities I will retain. I don't like that... The last 18 years I have been raised in a safe bubble. My finances were paid by my parents. And everything I ever really needed was handed to me. I am not aware that that is not how real life is and that scares me, ALOT!

Yesterday, I couldn't sit and be still. I was mulling over the same thoughts that would bring me to an uncomfortable state of thought. The main questions that I was pondering were:

1. What is the point of being here?
2. How can I make a difference in this world?
3. What will I do for a career?
4. How will I be able to financially support myself in the future?
5. What does the Lord want me to do all about this?

And that last question cleared a lot up for me. The lord doesn't want me to know all of the answers. If I knew all of the answers I would not need him. The only thing that I can do is rely and trust in him. He will provide. He doesn't let his followers go hungry. My primary worry at that moment should have been how my spiritual heath was. Last night, around, 11 pm, I decided to do something. I decided that I needed a change of venue to possibly feel a push from the Lord, or at lease get a little bit of guidance from new individuals who are united with me through Christ. So I looked up the hours of a new church. And then I set my alarm and fell asleep.

This morning I work up at 7 am sharp to go to New Life Four Square Church, and I loved it! It was just what I needed in that moment. The worship music was straight from my heart and the lyrics matched exactly what I was thinking. The pastor was relevant and I was able to follow and retain all that he said. The people were friendly and it gave me hope with having the strength to find a new church next year. After the New Life service I went to Starbuck and read Acts or an hour while sipping on my Skinny Caramel Macchiato. Then at 11 am I went to my regular church service and felt at home. 

The Lord made me realize today that in all I do I must do it for him. If I do that and worship and praise him and most importantly if I proclaim him as my lord and savior, he will direct me and guide me. There is so much in store for me in the future. Each year, as I get older, I must just praise the Lord and thank him for the opportunity to share his gospel and love to this broken world.

Lots on my mind, 

Alli