Hope

That saying has been constantly on my mind for the past few days. I am officially a college student now(just warning you all now, my grammar will not improve in these blogs because I honestly don't care). I moved in to my residence hall two days ago, and I am finally starting to get the lay of the law. Last night I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and really made an effort to get to know people and try new things. I am positive that I am not the only one who is nervous and insecure here and I realized that I should just be myself and meet as many people as possible so that they would feel included and loved. I tried to share Jesus's love to all last night. I ventured to the Ridge and joined in on different hall meetings, I ate dinner with a new group, I painted bricks with my hall, my RA and I ran to the Rec. center to workout and play games, I watched the Hawks win against the Packers with a new group, and  finally my roommate and I went to Fred Meyer at midnight to do some food shopping. I was defiantly exhausted by the end of it but I was also very proud of myself! I know that it is up to me to create how successful I am in this experience and that I have to make an effort. I know that it will not always be easy though! Yesterday morning was very difficult... I woke up at 7 am and layer in bed until 8:30 am. Now, you have to learn one thing about me. I cannot spend too much time on my own with nothing todo because my mind wanders to these pessimistic outcomes. So while I was laying in bed I was thinking about how alone I was, how I would have to spend 4 years here, and how much I will miss life at home. The life at home piece was the one that I tended to fixate on. I was extremely comfortable with where I was in my life at home. I had a fantastic family/home life. My parents were there to support me and my brothers were only a half an hour drive away. I loved where I worked and the Youth Group its self. I think that the youth group idea was the hardest one. I know that my mom is only  a phone call away so that is a bit more reassuring, but there is something about the group moving on without me that is difficult to understand. That group has been such a huge part of my life for so long. It gave me a purpose and it was my passion and I knew I was loved there. It is hard for me to look at pictures of the group because it makes me realize how much I love and miss them all but... I have to remember that that is the Lord's group and that it is not about me there. I will always be able to return there and hangout with them, but I also have to realize that it is time for me to fly and grow as my own person. I have to learn what my passions are and what I want to do and more importantly I need to figure out what the Lord's plan is for me. I am hoping that college will help me learn more about myself and that it will also help me gain a more positive attitude towards life. 

My RA had this verse posted on her wall and I LOVED it! 

Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off everything that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let is run with endurance the race God had set before us. We so this by keeping out eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of this joy awaiting him, he endures the cross, disregarding shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne." 

I have to strip the negative thoughts and anything that is holding me back from personal growth and my love for Jesus Christ. 

-All-i

Pike Place

God's beauty is all around us! I fail to admire it and take it in. My pastor preached last Sunday on the key to happiness. His sermon boiled down to this, "If you give God credit and thanks for all of His creations and blessings you will be happier." This is because you will take time to admire the world that he has created and all of the little things. Mark talked about artists and photographers. He explained how they are great examples of happy people because they take time to appreciate and glorify God's creation. They can pick out ordinary things that us normal people would pass over. This last week I ventured down to Seattle's Pikes Place Market to take picture. I wanted to focus on lines, food and create a few self-portraits. This is what I came up with. These pictures are just small examples of the Lord's beauty.

What to do with a bad day...

The world has not bee on my side today. My day has consisted of getting yelled at by a teacher for a solid 5 minutes, having my lunch get stolen, trying to understand physics before the final, and dealing with a ridiculous calculus test. Now, I know that all of these things are insignificant. The lord has blessed me with many incredible items, and overall I have a great life. I have a family that loves me no matter what, I have a house with heat, I have food, and I am in relatively good health. I have processed many thoughts on how to fix my bad day. The ideas have been getting a Starbucks and sitting in the Mukilteo cemetery trying to find peace, sticking my head in to a mole hole and waiting until it goes away, or just going to sleep immediately after school so I could sleep this day away, ““No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap.” Carrie P. Snow.

But, then I realized that this bad day was a blessing. It has made me slow down and set goals of how I could change the next day. I have been constantly praying this whole day, which has drawn me closer to God. “Some days are for living. Others are for getting through.”-Malcolm S. Forbes I have now realized that I can’t just sit around and let the bad day continue. I must change it myself, and I must persevere. I have made the conscious decision to take it head on. I need to stay positive and keep my head up with a smile plastered on it because the lord has given me this beautiful canvas and I need to paint it and leave my mark. So right now as I am typing this, trying to give you the confidence to take life head on, I am listening to Macklemore. I trying to clear my head and sit in silence before I make my next move. But, mark my words, my next move will be full of grace, love, and patience. Will yours?

To Infinity and Beyond

Being a Christian I should surely know that God has a plan for my life and that there is no reason to worry about my future. It says so in Matthew 6:34, "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." And in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” And in Proverbs 16:9, ”A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” and in one of my favorites, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5. But, it is so hard sometimes, still with all of that reassurance, to trust your life in someone else’s hands.

Today I was talking about the future with a friend. And I don’t know how seriously it made her think, but for me it really stirred up some deep thoughts in my noggin. She was explaining to me her process of applying to colleges and her plans for the future. She told me that she has been praying on where to decide to go to since she has started to receive acceptance letters. Mackenzie explained to me that she hasn’t been able to decipher what God has been telling her what to do. She can’t tell the difference between her owns wants, her mothers, and God’s. Now, after listening to her talk about the future and what it could hold after college it made me think of what I would do after college.

Since I was little my dream was to be an elementary school teacher but, now, as I get older I am realizing there is so much more in life that I could experience! I want to go where I can really share the most important gift that I have ever received. It is something that I learned and received from my Heavenly Father and it is a little something called LOVE! I want to share happiness and I feel the way to give it is through loving people and working for the Lord. Now I could share this love through education but I really want to experience everything that the lord has given me in this world and the possibilities are endless! Whether I choose to be a doctor in Africa for needy children, working for Toms or being a small town youth pastor I know that the Lord will place me in the most beneficial place for this world and me. I have faith and believe that I was placed on this world for a reason and that I have a purpose.

So going back up to the first paragraph when I talked about being nervous about placing my life in the Lords hands I need to remember that it is in even better hands than my own. This incredible man loves me forever with all his heart and we mean so much to him! So far my life has been pretty incredible. Now, don’t get me wrong it has not been all smooth sailing but life on earth shouldn’t be. Paradise is in a place called heaven and the only way to get there is to ask Jesus Christ in to your heart and believe wholly in him! I am sure that the Lord has something pretty darn incredible in his plans for me and I can’t wait to see what they are!