Seattle Love

23 days, 5 Mondays, 8 Tests, 6 Papers until Freedom!

High School is almost finished. I should be freaking out about finals and AP tests, but I am feeling unnaturally calm. I have my 2 AP finals tomorrow and I am not studying. I am not interested in looking at my books anymore. I have a major case of senioritis.

Today I went back to Pike Place in Seattle with my VisComm Class to take pictures. It was so incredibly beautiful today. There were magnificent flowers in bloom and incredible amounts of art on display.

Tonight I will go to youth group with the Middle Schoolers for one of the last times. I am sad to be leaving these incredible kids, but I know they will do fine without me. They have changes my life so much.

Incredibly Blessed,
All-i Rose

Self Reliance

Right now, at this very moment, I feel hopeless. I feel stupid. I feel incapable. I feel selfish.

This week I had the revelation that I have to get a job. My parents have graciously helped me pay for things for all of my childhood, but now that I am going to college in September, I have to create my own salary and find a way to support myself. I am a huge worrier. I don't like feeling tied down. I have so many fears about getting a new job. My main sources of income in the past has been from babysitting, house sitting, and nannying. With those three I didn't have very specific hours and they provided LOTS of flexibility. With a part-time job I will be tied down with hours. I am fearful that I will not be able to get certain days that I have had plans for off. For example, I volunteer with a youth group and this is my last summer with them. The first week of August is our summer camp. This will be the last time i will be able to say good by before I leave for college. Another fear that I have is that I will not be successful at what the job is. When I commit to something I stick with it. I don't half-ass anything. I know that after I get used to working I will be fine but it is just the though of having to try something new.

Deep in thought,
All-i Rose