How fickle my heart and how woosie my eyes.
Summer is coming to an end and boy, has it been an adventure. I will create a blog post separate to that topic but today's topic is ubiquitous in my mind. Let me explain that so it makes sense. This summer I have learned a lot about myself and I have transformed as a person. From that transformation I am starting to attempt to decipher what I would like to choose as a career path so it would meet my ultimate personality desires. I am coming to see that I have lost the initial awe that I had when starting my job at MPC. Now, that doesn't mean that I don't like my job. That's not true. I do love my job and the kids that I get to work with but I no longer wake up ass excited as I used to and I think that is because my personality has changed and I am wanting something different in the work place. I think that I want more consistancy. By that I mean that I want secure hours that I know the day in advance. I would love to leave the politics of the church. I would like to feel a bit more wanted. But there are many things that I would fear losing if I chose another job. I would not want to lose the connection that I have with the children. I love listening to them and hearing them talk and their thoughts. I am learning that I really have a heart for counseling. I would want to also lose the purpose that I feel from the Lord when I do really feel it.
So I will continue to pray. Pray for direction and peace. Prayers of guidence and humility. I am starting to cope with the fact that the Lord will direct me and I so strongly believe that wherever I invest my heart, I will invest my life for Jesus.
Mumford and Son's song Awake My Soul has been my anthem for this summer.
A jumpy hearted,
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