Day 11

Hello Interwebs!

Bear with me... this weekend has been very hard on me and my emotions have been everywhere. I am struggling with forgiveness, envy and desire. I get so frustrated with people and their actions and I cannot forgive them, I hold on to the feelings of hate and anger. But, then I feel that I hold on to these so that I can sulk in my own self pity and make the moment all about me. And I am so envious about others talents, relationships, and friendships. I think of how things in my life use to be and how my old friendships were and the old feelings and places I use to experience. These thoughts always lead me to think of how amazing things were and how I had everything. Then I think of what I have now and the friends that I have lost and the places that I don't go anymore and how worthless of a person I am. Thinking this way always makes me feel empty, alone, and disliked. I always end up crying and in a bad mood. I realized today that I lost lost my friends and favorite places because of a thing that is better than all of my favorite things. And it makes everything worth losing... I lost those things because of my journey with Christ:) I changed my ways of living so that I can glorify him. So looking back at this weekend and all of the emotions that I have felt they were all worth it because of the fact of going home once this life is over. I need to change the ways that I think and remember that I lost those friendships because if I kept them they would have lead me away from my father. The places that are just memories now are in the past because I am constantly making new memories. And, the feelings of lonlyness and worthlessness are not true because I work for the lord and I am nevery alone:)

So that is my Piece of Happiness today, realising the truth behind my feelings and finding hope from sadness. I am going to leave you with a bible verse,

John 20:29 Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

Keep searching for the good stuff in life,

Alli